Mindfulness and Relationships.
Having a mindfulness practice is proven to be very beneficial to our overall wellbeing. Some of the positive outcomes are- emotional regulation, improved awareness and the ability to increase tolerance in stressful situations.
Mindfulness based stress reduction (MBSR) is a Zen practice rooted in Buddhism and was made popular to westerners by Professor Jon Kabat-Zinn. Such practices can include mindfulness mediation, breathing, eating, movement and so on. We’re basically just bringing awareness to our breath and other activities that we tend to rush through. Through this we are able to become more present and perhaps then, with this increased awareness, we can break patterns of thought and behavior that no longer serve us.
Romantic relationships are a landing pad for attachment trauma and negative core beliefs and because of this we often try and repair what is broken within ourselves through our partnerships. We unconsciously reenact parts of our history we wish we could fix, in effect creating negative patterns and habits within the relationship. As with an individual mindfulness practice, we find our way to acceptance - in this case accepting our partner for who they are and not who we want them to be.
If we are able to pause and be more mindful we will be able to be more present for our partner, gain more autonomy within the relationship, and truly feel gratitude for those we love. As mentioned before mindfulness practices decreases stress and increases emotional regulation, and this becomes crucial in times of conflict -which are inevitable.
Professor of Psychology at University of Pepperdine, Louis Cozolino, writes in his book, “Of all the experiences we need to survive and thrive, it is the experience of relating to others that is the most meaningful and important.” There are many ways to engage in a mindfulness practice with a significant other. This could look like meditating with your partner, daily gratitude practices, a letter of appreciation or simply taking pleasure in seemingly mundane activities. Cultivating this kind of awareness is a fabulous addition to couples therapy or even a preliminary step into this kind of deepened introspection. Simply put- Mindfulness is a straightforward way to become a better partner and enjoying a healthier more communicative relationship.
